professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You are the jesus of drinking
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
