and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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