The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
