i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
