i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
