If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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