It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
