Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
