That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
