I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
