before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
