Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
