Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
