Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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