Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Randomize
