I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
