what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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