wake up i wanna do it froggy style
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i've created a new STD.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
