Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
