windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Acid is not a monday night drug
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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