Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
