Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
