FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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