My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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