I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
