If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
