a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
