4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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