Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
