hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So much rum. So many feels.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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