It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
