she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
