R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
