i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Randomize
