I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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