I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I love you. Go after that dick
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
