i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
