Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
