Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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