And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Randomize
