Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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