I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Randomize
