I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
wow bdsm is so cute
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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