his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
