Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
