Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
