I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
