why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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