her vagine was all disorganized.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
