you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
