this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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