It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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