Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
