I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I could fuck to npr.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
