glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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