I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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