we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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