So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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