I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
