i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
