My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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