Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
