Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
vagina is talking i cant
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
