handjob tips. give me some.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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