I'll bet she douches with gravy.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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