Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
