I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
