Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
