no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
