He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
