Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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