Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
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