So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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