I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Too much gin, very little bucket
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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