I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize