are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
